Thoughts on retirement

Calvin Robinson

Moderator Christian Forum
FrSent: Monday, April 15, 2013 2:52:53 PM
Subject: Retirement]

This sums it up.

Retiree's Message

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that
I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me! And here is why.

1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me.
Senility Prayer
God grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older and wiser, here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter
.. .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

20.DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????

Wade Hougham

Well-Known Member
I couldn't agree more with you on #4, #5 and #19. I had forgot about them, thanks for reminding me.



Well-Known Member
Well Calvin...that pretty well describes me. But I'm really enjoying it anyway, I think...:) ...Teddy

BossDog & Owner
Staff member
As far back as I can recall, I have always been forgetful..


Well-Known Member
Yep, those are always good to remember...... Shucks, I've never been good at remembering... There was that time when my first wife and I were dating, I walked up to her door, knocked, her Mom came to door. I say "is .......... ahhh..... your daughter home?" I don't think her Mom picked up on me not remembering. Good thing...... I guess.
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Justin Presson

Well-Known Member
How is this the first time I have seen this thread! Funny stuff
Number 3 kind of hit me. I know to some of you guys I'm just a pup but as I inch closer to to 40 my body is changing and all the dumb stuff I did and thought I was so tough and strong are catching up to me.

Von Gruff

I have just come home from hunting for a coupe of days and the country is steep so my 65+ year old body has a number of complaint about the treatment it was asked to except but having 6 animals in the freezer seems to have mollified it somewhat.