1500 Posts Giveaway!!!

Ironwolf said:
that's why you should find a gal who has the same appreciation,and tastes in women as you!2thumbs
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Somehow I don't think that would work... wouldn't she be even more jealous then? :confused: Worse yet, what if I ended up with two women:eek: Sounds like twice the trouble!:bud:
 
james terrio said:
Somehow I don't think that would work... wouldn't she be even more jealous then? :confused: Worse yet, what if I ended up with two women:eek: Sounds like twice the trouble!:bud:
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I was with a gal for 11 years who liked the ladies as much (or more!)than I do...She was the one rubber-necking,and pointing out the hotties to me!:D
Now,here's your laugh for the day:I've always been monogamous,hardly even looked at other women.
She tried for years to convince me that "sharing wasn't cheating",
but my head just ain't wired that way.
Now that we've parted company,I find myself wondering "what were you thinking?!?"...
The way I see it,the only problem in having 2 gals is if they were diggin' each other more than you!:D
 
I was fixing bacon and eggs this morning. I salted the eggs and then grabbed the can of black pepper, popped open the tab with one hand and started shaking. Unfortunately I had opened the wrong side of the can - the pour side. Luckily I caught myself after covering just one egg a half inch deep in pepper. Being a "waste not, want not" kind of guy I said that I would eat that egg. I still have heartburn.
 
Hmmm--something funny. Well, a few years ago I needed a copy of my birth certificate. My folks lived in Bingham, ME when I was born, so I took a ride up there. Went to the town office--the lady there tells me that they do not have those records and sends me to....






























the liquor store on Main Street. Yes, the registry of birth certificates are kept in an old filing cabinet in the back of the liquor store. Only in rural Maine!
 
OK, here is mine for today.
My oldest son just graduated from high school and I still catch myself walking around singing "Barney" songs!

UncleBilly
 
...school is out,and there's a very large park right around the corner from my house.
During the day it's used for baseball and/or soccer,and there's a waterpark for the wee kids.
At night,it's a playground for drunken teenagers sitting in the covered bleachers screaming and cursing at 1-2-3 in the AM...
Usually,I only have to go over there once a night,and suggest to them that if they like,I could follow them to their house,to yell and scream and wake up their
families and neighbors,and they get the hint,apologize,and either get quiet or leave.
Lately,they've been coming in shifts it seems.
Last night,I had to go out there 3 times,
the last time (3:30 AM),I went over in my sweats.and a t-shirt grabbed blindly.
As I approached,I was met with stares,then snickers,giggles,and one kid started laughing uncontrollably...
Turns out I'd grabbed one of my ex-girlfriend's old t-shirts she'd left behind.
It was a very large one she often wore as a night-shirt,
very,VERY pink,with big red,glittery letters that read
"BAD GIRL"
huh1cool 1:rolleyes:
 
Playing ball today with my 18 month old great-grandson, Robbie. We were using a light plastic ball. The kid's got an arm, I'm telling you. He throws it, I catch it and look around for my coffee. He snatches a potato out of the bin and sends a fast ball my way. Didn't see it coming but I caught it - right below the belt if you know what I mean. I had no idea you had to wear a cup to play with a toddler.
 
I have not peed in a year and a half.... My wife hates riding in the car with me. Dialysis, though, is a bummer!!!! Thanks for the chance.
 
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About a month ago, my wife was cleaning out the fridge while I was cooking dinner. I noticed some things she would check by smelling them. I waited for the right time armed with this knowledge. I was about to add some pepper into something then I faked sniffing the pepper shaker. I looked at her and ask "Smell this and tell me if it's still good" then handed her the pepper shaker. Yup, without thinking...she did.
 
Come on guys.................. Only 51 post so far and a couple are mine:eek:


This is going to be a nice box with some knife steel, scales, blocks, and a few other things!!!
 
It usually takes me 3 trips to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I keep forgetting what I went there for. I think I'm rapidly approaching geezerness.
 
I would have posted again...but, I can't remember anything that's funny in a "family oriented" way. I've got plenty from the other side of the fence though.

Maybe this is borderline......
On a group fishing trip a few years ago, we were catching some decent cod in the 30-40# range. Of course there was alchohol involved, lots of alchohol. Someone got the bright idea to try to remove their eyes intact, which is very difficult.We got pretty good at it with practice. One of our group was notorious for passing out easily so I told him that if he passed out I would fill his pockets with those fish eyes we were piling up. Well he did pass out. I took some grapes that we had for snacking and squished them a little and started filling his pockets. On the way back to shore he woke up and started going for something in his pockets and saw the rest of us crying with laughter. He remembered what I told him and carefully pulled off his pants right there on the rear deck of the boat. All the while telling me I wasn't making it back to shore. After carefully turning his pockets inside-out he realized those were only grapes after scraping a few off the pocket. He still wasn't happy ,but happier than having to scrape real fish eyes from his pockets. My gut hurt the whole ride home from laughing so hard.

Rudy
 
LongShot said:
About a month ago, my wife was cleaning out the fridge while I was cooking dinner. I noticed some things she would check by smelling them. I waited for the right time armed with this knowledge. I was about to add some pepper into something then I faked sniffing the pepper shaker. I looked at her and ask "Smell this and tell me if it's still good" then handed her the pepper shaker. Yup, without thinking...she did.
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you sir,are a brave,brave man!

(...um,she's not reading this over yer shoulder is she?:eek: )
:D
 
Ernie Swanson said:
Come on guys.................. Only 51 post so far and a couple are mine:eek
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I actually view that as a good thing, it increases my odds of winning 2thumbs:rolleyes:

Now for the funny.

I called my wife the other day thinking that she would have to bring my spare keys to me because I locked them in my center console (think wrangler with no doors). I was on the phone about to tell her when I see them hanging from the ignition :eek:

I was in Home Depot for about 20 min. Thankfully no one wanted to steal it.
 
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