A little Alaska humor

roadapples

roadapples

Well-Known Member
As the title to the Dog Run states jokes, and I haven't seen many, thought I'd share a bit of Alaska humor;

A polar bear cub wanders up to his dad one fine winter day and says; "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?" Poppa bear replies " Yes Son." Cub says "Ok" and wanders off. About 15 minutes later Cub comes back and says; "Dad, are you sure I'm 100% polar bear?" Dad says; "Well son, both my mother and father were 100% polar bear, which mqakes me 100% polar bear, and both of your Mother's parents' were 100% polar bear, so she is 100% polar bear. So, if both me and your Mom are 100% polar bear, you must be 100% polar bear." Cub says "ok" and starts to wander off again. Dad stops him and asks; "Why are you asking this Son?" Cub replies; "Cause I'm freezing my butt off!"


Comments, complaints or tell a better one!:biggrin:
 
OK, you asked for an Alaska Joke, so here goes............


A man is driving his car thru Alaska in the freezing cold one day in the middle of nowhere when he notices his car starts over heating...
about ten miles up the road he see's a fishing village on the horizon, as he pulls into town there's a car repair shop, what luck huh?
so the owner pops the hood and say's well this may take a while, there's a nice diner across the street if you'd like to have lunch and come back in about an hour. so the man goes to the diner and it turns out to be some of the best food he's ever had. the waitress talks him into having a big bowl of home made ice cream for desert, boy was it good, but messy, what with the beard and mustache and all.
he finally makes it back to the car shop with the owner under the hood. he asks the man, well what do you think?
the man gets from under the hood, takes a long hard look at him and finally say's....Well it looks like you blew a seal.
with that the man wipes his face and says, No, that's just a little ice cream from lunch.

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are !!
 
How do you catch a polar bear?

Well, first you go up to Alaska and find a likely place out on the ice where there are signs that polar bears have recently been.

Then you dig a hole through the ice, bigger around than a polar bear.

Then you open a can of peas and spread them around the hole.

When a polar bear comes up to take a pea you sneak up behind him and kick him in the ice hole.
 
A man arrives in Alaska for his Grizzly Bear hunt that he saved up for and just bought all new equipment & guns.
He meet's his guide and the man proudly shows him his new Ruger .44 Magnum revolver that he just bought for a backup gun for the Grizzly bear hunt.

The guide says to the man, Let me see that handgun for a minute. The guide takes out a hand file and starts filing off the front site of the revolver and the man yells HEY! I just bought that! Why the heck are you filing off the front sight?
The guide replies with a smile. So it won't hurt so bad when the grizzly shoves this revolver up your rear end!
 
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